rants

started out so strong feeling so undefeated
feeling like being needed
started out full of hope full of will
its like the time stopped and stayed still
for me time did that for me
let me achieve my goals but those goals didn't get far
the fear the doubt came back
the defeat set in, will power i lacked
what to do in such a mishappen
what to think about something im trapped in
my own vanity my own shadows
my own indiscretions and views of myself
why do i see rotten and misbehaved
im not me im a liar
can i be myself..i was on that path
but stopped all for a useless self indulgence
not working for my living
not working for that fill in
not looking for that something to profit in
laying on my back whereas they're in Berlin
Paris, Tokyo making money living the life
im sitting here wondering why one moment went blank
stopped me in my tracks
simple tips and in clear few facts
but i turn my face away
i turn my face in shame
not wanting whats in store but somehow pursuing for something more
mad words but sane emotions
its not a magic trick or a cauldron mixed with potions
a fact of life that i need to see and learn
learn from your mistakes and not make my own
the way to live the one and only Jesus has shown
people don't care for what i say
people don't sit back and play
its all a serious job everything in life something to do
something to live for and stay true
they call me this they bring me down
but my head stays strong bringing out my smile killing the frown
lyrics from a song inspiration for the soul
something the medias lies had achieved and stole
but i bring it back and stay alive
everybody wants to tear me up but i fight
one punch to the haters one punch to the liars
one punch to those words scripted on ongoing flyers
crazy is all i see when i walk out the door
everybody comes in front of me spitting on my floor
what i want they don't want me to achieve
but i shout to those haters get out leave
leave me be to myself like a calm sea
don't come in my ear and don't say things that make me cry
don't whisper your hateful lies
i don't need this in my life right now
writing my feelings out to show you somehow
drink of water but your still thirsty
you want more digging down getting dirty
what you can't see yourself in the mirror
from people like you i stay clear of
flying like birds looking for their prey
don't come near me cause i never stray
never alone gods with me
showing me the way whispering to pray
you have no affect on this person that is i
don't even come close don't even try
calling me on the phone
your nothing but a clone
one two three of you but one and only me
unique in my own ways
but you and your replays
im like a drug to you
full of pleasure but side effects that kill
now you run why don't you want this come on stay still
break me like a wall but i rise up
erase me like im on paper
cut me open but im back together like im stapled
don't tear me when im like this
don't touch me or you'll see my fist
im tough but i break
and i know that weakness is an excuse
but my weaknesses i will use
to my advantage my lows will be highs
my highs will be higher
you fight water with fire
but i fight fire with fire
tell me the real don't come up with those lies
don't come up with your bulls
don't try your tricks on me i ain't a fool
i bring myself down and i lose my self respect
but i always have enough dignity left
i build that respect and i get twice much back
the respect of others is not what i lack
no matter my falls
i will never again stall
you stop you wait to catch me in your snare
but my life is too good so i don't give a care
i will walk over that trap
and with my force it will snap
break like a twig
smoke up like a cig
respect me im the queen
respect me and ill believe
respect my life and what im worth
respect the one and only god
the one and only savior
cause when he ain't in my way im a failure
peace

^^v

sorry. been busy and everything was just chaos all around. been messy, been hectic.. but of cos there is always some comfort around me. thanks. to you. and you of course. it's been great! never been so free and relaxing. never have felt so... um.. outburst of enthusiasm! =)
so pray for me, and i'll keep bugging you there. so just miss me, i'll be there whenever you need me. so don't take away, what we have now.. i've never felt so blissful.

f l a w l e s s

perfect is never the subject
i'm impressed, by the way you comfort me
i'll just remember
you smiled back at me

can't remember what went wrong last october
i'm still getting used to it
you said that it's all what you need
and since when, it doesn't matter anymore

it was never against you..

[^^]

happy happy happy new year
may the greatest fear, gone.
may the people of joy, fly.
maybe you and me,
will be if it is to be.

cheers~

one's not half two. It's two are halves of one:
which halves reintegrating,shall occur
no death and any quantity;
but than all numerable mosts the actual more

minds ignorant of stern miraculous
this every truth-beware of heartless them
(given the scalpel,they dissect a kiss;
or,sold the reason,they undream a dream)

deep in dark least ourselves remembering
love only rides his year.
All lose,whole find

random.

Your Brain is Green

Of all the brain types, yours has the most balance. You are able to see all sides to most problems and are a good problem solver. You need time to work out your thoughts, but you don't get stuck in bad thinking patterns. You tend to spend a lot of time thinking about the future, philosophy, and relationships (both personal and intellectual).

What Color Is Your Brain?

Your Candy Heart Says "Hug Me"

A total sweetheart, you always have a lot of love to give out. Your heart is open to where ever love takes you! Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a surprise romantic evening that you've planned out Your flirting style: lots of listening and talking What turns you off: fighting and conflict Why you're hot: you're fearless about falling in love

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth. In love, you feel the most alive when everything is uncertain, one moment heaven... the next moment hell. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

You Are Strawberries with Cream

Fresh and uncomplicated, you are always enjoyed but often overlooked. You're confident in who you are. You don't need a facade to feel better about yourself.

What Dessert Are You Most Like?

People Envy Your Generosity

You're a giving soul, and you'd do almost anything for those you love. And they'd do anything for you! People may envy how giving you are, but more than anything, they envy those you open your heart to.

What Do People Envy About You?

You Are Pretty Happy

You generally have a happy, fulfilling life. But things could be a little better, and deep down, you know it. Maybe you need more supportive friends or a more challenging career. Something is preventing you from being totally happy. You just need to figure out what it is!

How Happy Are You, Really?